


fuck toilet paper lives

by honeybeomz



Category: Stray Kids (Band)
Genre: Alternate Universe - Soulmates, HYUNSUNG, M/M, Minor Violence, Soulmate-Identifying Timers, fight at first sight, help this is my first time posting, idiots being soulmates, teen rating bcs of swearing
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2021-02-08
Updated: 2021-02-08
Packaged: 2021-03-13 14:35:14
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,216
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/29280063
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/honeybeomz/pseuds/honeybeomz
Summary: soulmates au where two boys meet in the middle of the pandemic fighting over toilet paper in a convenience store.or; jisung and hyunjin are two idiot soulmates
Relationships: Han Jisung | Han/Hwang Hyunjin
Comments: 6
Kudos: 41





	fuck toilet paper lives

**Author's Note:**

> i have no idea wtf this is. i made this while procrastinating so it's not all that good 🥺 please be gental i tried to make it funny but i'm sadly #unfunny i hope you enjoy it hyunsungers !! ♡

hwang hyunjin wasn't the type to worry about a lot of shit, however, a pandemic was starting and toilet paper was apparently the essential, he doesn't wanna die yet, he's too good-looking to die young, and so, shortly after a million thoughts of panic, procrastination and the hesitation of leaving his house, he finally found himself making his way to the local convenience store to buy a gazillion toilet papers to last his life, dressed in full coverage sweats and his grandma's last unused face mask. he wasn't taking any chances. oh no.

the young adult pushed open the reinforced glass doors of the building and walked himself inside the almost empty store. there was one employee in the cashier checkout, dressed in protective clothing and the classic blue hospital mask and clear screen to cover their face. they didn't look particularly amused by their situation and only briefly glanced at hyunjin before minding their own business. the boy took a trip going in and out of aisles, in a leisurely attempt to find toilet paper, however, hyunjin wasn't the type to look for a long time and by the time he had scouted the shelves for the much needed toilet paper, he began to slightly panic.

the store could be described as small, just like it always had been and it felt almost crowded because of the lack of space between the shelves, however, luckily, the shop was relatively empty with only one, or maybe two? other customers besides hyunjin, but that was the issue; it was small, yet he couldn't find atleast a roll of toilet paper in sight.

the raven haired sighed in worry, then decided to try to look among each shelf more thoroughly, hoping to have only magically missed the item, in desperation to find it. hyunjin looked at the corners, the very back and even on the floor, but no toilet paper he could find. 

by now, he'd really started to get anxious. he was already tired from walking the five-minute distance from his house to this nearby convenience store, hyunjin was definitely not going to go venturing out into the far unknown, in hopes to find a unfamiliar open shop with toilet paper. not in the name of his laziness.

hyunjin ran around the small-scaled establishment, looking like a madman. he had a feeling that the cashier from earlier probably thought he was weird, but that was the least of hyunjin's worries and instead, he should be anxious of the toilet paper he cannot seem to find. 

inside his mind, hyunjin considered to ask the cashier about it, but because of their unfriendly demeanor upon both's first glance of eachother, he's kind of scared to question anything. this is fucking childish hwang hyunjin. just ask the damn person, i wanna get the fuck out of here and fast. however, the popular opinion is right and his inner thoughts win. 

hyunjin took awkward steps into approaching them and finally asking the stupid question. they respond with "it's in the far back, in the blue plastic box, not in the shelves." and he softly thanks them for their service. hyunjin bee-lined to the back row, planning to open the blue box, expecting to find numerous rolls of folded toilet paper, and with a grin on his face in anticipation of his expectation, he lifted the lid to find a singular roll and his smiling expression immediately dropped down into a deadpanned look. i hate it here.

although, he had disliked how his belief had turned into a dissapointment, hyunjin had to make do and he reached out to the toilet paper, only for it to be snatched by a hand beside him on his right side.

the boy turned to gaze up at the 'perpetrator' of the immoral act of stealing HIS toilet paper, however, before he could, he was pushed away and he stumbled on his feet, eventually landing on his butt. that was a shit move, hyunjin would say.

he groaned from the sudden pain in his lower back and thought to sigh at his unfortunateness again, "social distancing sir, have you not heard of it?" hyunjin heard a sassy sounding voice and he made a wild guess that the voice was owned by the 'thief' of his toilet paper. hyunjin glared up at them and they seemed to be the typical messy haired boy in a hoodie. 

"manners asshole, do you not have them?" hyunjin remarked back. the hooded boy scoffed as hyunjin tried to get up from the floor, holding his lower back like an old man while he tried his best to lift his heavy bum up. 'asshole' crossed their arms, the toilet paper held by one of their hands. at least he has the decency to wait for me to stand up. god, my ass hurts like a bitch. he was being overdramatic, it didn't hurt that much but the fact that his toilet paper was stolen made it ten times worse.

once hyunjin regained his humanity back, he continued to glare at the hooded boy and the latter only turned his back to him and carried on his merry way to the cashier. hyunjin shouted to stop the walking male, pointing at him with his index finger, his eyes squinting as if to show his suspicions of the hooded boy.

"you stole MY toilet paper!!" he shouted directing his anger to the other male. the hood, that hyunjin thinks is the color of beige or light brown, was taken off and the owner of said beige hoodie turned his body to hyunjin, "excuse me? i grabbed it first! it's not my fault you're slow." he shrugged and rolled his eyes. 

hyunjin could now see that the boy had reddish brown hair and he opted to call him hoodie asshole for his future rantings to jeongin. he craned his neck, left and right, if he was going to start a fight. he should win it. "i found it first!! so it's mine!"

"well, too bad, so sad bleh" hoodie asshole stuck his pink tongue out in mockery, swinging the toilet paper around to tease hyunjin. the latter was not liking this situation at all and it showed on his face; an angry pout, brought-together brows and glaring eyes.

hyunjin sighed in exasperation and unconciously ran a hand through his hair out of habit, gripping a lock of it tightly. this prick is a pain the ass, can't you just give me the damn toilet paper?!

for a second, hyunjin had considered tackling the boy since he loved to play so much and in the back of his mind, he had been almost willing to go through with it, just to get his well-deserved roll of the essential. he held himself back, but he didn't know if he could take it any longer. hyunjin took a deep breathe, "look, i just want my toilet paper." he reasoned.

"you mean MY toilet paper?" the hoodie asshole raised his eyebrow and this acted as the last straw for hyunjin. he was going for it, he couldn't take it anymore. he found himself running towards the stubborn male and in the blink of an eye, hyunjin planted himself on said male's back and had his legs around the boy's waist, one arm around his neck and the other hand covering his eyes. "shit! get off me!" the hooded boy slapped and slapped hard at hyunjin's face and arm. hyunjin felt his hair being pulled out and both groaned in pain. "ow! what the fuck dude!" 

"you asked for it, little shit!!" upon hearing this, hyunjin had completely forgotten about the toilet paper he was doing all of this for and was deadset on being the one who was victorious in the end. he pulled the guy's head back and the boy who had reddish brown strands had struggled to kept both boys off the ground. hyunjin and him fell to the store's tiles inevitably, back first for hyunjin. now, that hurt like a bitch. fuck, my spine.

hyunjin was exhausted and in pain but did not finish the fight in a merciful way just like that, he pulled the guy's mess of a hair, causing them to tousle with his fingers, hyunjin also felt sweat greet his fingers on the other male's scalp and he immediately regretted his decision after making it. the duck lipped boy made a face of disgust, "why is your scalp so sweaty?" hyunjin attempted to sniff the other boy's head as well. "gosh, it's stanky too.." he pushed the guy's head away from him, never wanting to smell its scent ever again.

"you try getting tackled by someone and not sweat!!" the hoodie wearing boy retorted. hyunjin pushed himself out from under said boy's weight and hoodie boy had made his body heavy on purpose, "you can't get out of this, you ass. i'm reporting you." however, hyunjin thankfully greets freedom as he squirmed his way out.

"i just wanted my toilet paper back, was that not clear or something?" hyunjin gasped for air, fighting sure was strenuous and tiring work, shout out to those boxers and wrestlers like dang. he ran his hand through his hair out of habit again, his eyes looking down to the store's pristine flooring. i'm exhausted. 

"i, too am exhausted.." hyunjin is startled by the reply and looked up to glance at the hoodie boy, he thought he was talking in his thoughts? "you heard me?" he asked in curiosity, "you were pretty damn loud yeah.." hyunjin rolled his eyes at the reply from the boy and glared at him.

moments after, hyunjin looked to be almost full-on staring at him, hoodie boy had taken noticed while fixing his hair and diverted his attention from fixing himself to hyunjin, "what? am i pretty?" he smirked, eyebrows raising in question. yes, hyunjin was staring at him, but his attention wasn't in the center of his vision and rather at the corner of his eye, there was a timer running, in digital font, the time 10:45 and counting.

10:46

10:47

10:48ㅡ

hyunjin's face turned into a face of horror, did he just pick a fight with his soulmate? shit, he doesn't wanna believe it. "hell no." he let pass through his lips, "what do you mean hell no?" hoodie boy asked, "hell no i'm not pretty? that would be rude or hell no that you picked a fight with me? because you should be saying hell no, i'm gonna tell on you!!" 

"no, it's not that idiot!" hyunjin denied and gestured to the other male's wrist with a nod of his head and a look. "please look at your wrist and tell me you're not seeing what i'm seeing.." he was anxious again.

"huh?" hoodie boy certainly looked confused as he hesitated to take a glance at his wrist, he felt like he already knew what was to happen and he widened his eyes at the possibility, he refused to believe that this was the impression he gave to his other half. he closed his eyes tightly as he slowly worked himself into looking down from hyunjin to his arm.

hoodie boy slowly opened one eye, wanting to see nothing on his wrist. to his dismay, he saw the sight of numbers counting and the news made his other eye open up. "wha..this- i-" the boy with reddish brown hair seemed like a squirrel in headlights; in shock and had widened eyes staring at hyunjin. "now, this is embarassing.." hyunjin mumbled sheepishly, embarassment overcoming him by the second.

"oh, it's embarassing alright.." a third voice spoke, one that both hyunjin and the hoodie boy didn't find familiar. hyunjin looked everywhere and eventually landed his eyes to his back side, there stood the cashier that wore the protective gear, wearing headphones around his neck. "you just scared away the customers, i'll have to call the police on ya'll for fighting in public and for messing up the stacked up boxes."

closely from where the two were scattered boxes. hyunjin hadn't even noticed bumping into them and he bowed his head half-heartedly at the cashier worker. "sorry."

"you don't mean that." they sassed and rolled their eyes, "whatever, i'll let ya'll have your moment. you better not fucking escape." they walked away, letting the two soulmates have someㅡmoreㅡtime alone. "have fun in jail." at that, hyunjin turned back to hoodie boy, who now had a smile on his face and hyunjin wondered how a smile could be so beautiful? was this the effects of the soulmate system? "hi! let's forget about what happened...please? eeeven if we are momentarily going to jail??" hoodie boy waved, his reddish brown hair bobbing up and down in a questionable(?) manner, hyunjin couldn't tell if he was excited or anxious. "okay, hi." he replied.

"i'm jisung, han jisung." hoodie boy introduced himself, sticking out a hand for a handshake. hyunjin looked at it, catching the timer on his wrist. so this was really real huh? for someone that didn't believe in the soulmate bullshit, life just be clowning him right now, but, hyunjin took the hand, flashing jisung a slight smile. "hwang hyunjin."

"fuck toilet paper lives. i've got a soulmate!"

**Author's Note:**

> still not satisfied with that ending 
> 
> \+ this is crossposted somewhere so if you see it. calm down, its just me plagiarizing myself :b


End file.
